Then fucks the shit out of me.
Is that too much to ask for?
I was too drunk to drive home last night and so Jeff offered to let me crash at his house.
He passed the test. Refused to sleep with me because I had been drinking, and then said even if I could “give sober consent” (his actual words), he still wouldn’t because he didn’t have a condom. Then we cuddled and watched Adam Sandler movies until 5am.
My alarm went off at 6am. He got up and got an aspirin, water, and a pair of sunglasses. Then he have me his leather jacket (that he never leaves his house without) and walked me to my car, then he kissed me on the forehead and told me to have a good day at work.
He might be a keeper.
My boo got off work an hour before I did and we had planned to hang out after work but didn’t figure out what time. So after I get off I texted him to say I would be hanging at the coffee shop for a while instead of going home, just until we decide what we’re gonna do, because I live 40 minutes away from town.
I just spent 3 hours in a coffee shop. He never replied.
My thoughts are: maybe he fell asleep. or maybe he’s just ignoring me an doesn’t wanna hang out. or maybe he crashed his car. *then the panic sets in*
and now I’m sitting in my car feeling anxious and really worried and also sad and that’s just…ugh. not what I need after the hellish day I had at work today.
I just ran into my ex’s ex at my psychiatrists office.
There is nothing more awkward than sitting across from someone that you know, in a silent waiting room, waiting to get your crazy pills.
Today I was literally told “God made you really excellent at giving blowjobs to compensate for your excessive use of lame puns”.
To compensate? No dude these are both wonderful things that I am very proud of you silly goose
My roommate and I went to look at this awesome apartment complex today.
It’s less than 10 minutes away from my work,
we don’t have to share a bathroom,
everything except for electricity is included in the rent (that includes cable, y’all),
it’s in a safe neighbourhood,
and it’s closer to the capital than it is to the universities, so less loud college students and more adults/families living there.
Also, two pools and a gym.
‘Tis hella, my friends.
We’re looking at moving in on April 1st!
But what about if Enjolras replied and it went like this:
"I am hard."